Oct 02, 16
Once you travel far enough to be away for time enough to feel a big change, it´s just hard to go back home. Especially if you started to feel that the new place was home too and that back home is a weird combination of words.
It´s been 4 months since my 5-year old and I are back in Brazil after spending 1,5 years in Costa Rica, and finally I´m starting to feel more like home again.
I´m slowly thinking less obsesively about traveling again. A month ago, I was still checking flights24.com to go to Costa Rica and Chile and imagining ways to raise the money to leave again.
I kept thinking how from the northeast of Brazil I should get to the Caribbean by sea. And it´s too bad that it´s more expensive to travel by cargo ship than flying. Basically, I need 1000 dollars a head to fly and would need 1200 dollars (a head) to go by cargo ship and take 12 days more instead.
Sep 27, 16
The thing started spontaneously. A few times I had committed myself to ¨not yelling just for today¨, which gives great results. Then a few times, it was: ¨Wow, 3 days in a row without screaming!¨ But then I´d forget about it.
Last week though, I had a quote from A.S. Neill stuck in my head: ¨Compulsive discipline always implies fear¨ (I don´t want my daughter to de afraid of me, so that I get something done or cleaned), plus learning what self-regulation means, when during a 2-days in a row without screaming I read Jennifer´s post: Do you scare your kids? Do you think they deserve it? which talks basically about self-regulation and the adult´s need to learn it before expecting if from a child.
All the latest readings I had done were simply calling me to action: Self-regulate yourself for Christ-Sake!
And so I had the idea of the 30-days-without-yelling challenge for myself as a way to make the change happen. And then I read this post from Leo Battuta that talks about how when you want to form a new habit you have to tell other people about it and so I decided to make it public, first on Face Book and now here on the blog.
Sep 25, 16
A while ago, back in Costa Rica, Luísa had to avoid white sugar to get rid of a skin condition.
It was the first time in my life I had to give up sugar as well (as I joined her needed sugar free diet)
We started eating healthy cookies and my 5-year old was ok with it. We would skip the diet once in a while (probably a few times a week).
Since then, we were still eating sweets out of the house, I just thought it was wise not to have it available in the house.
Now that she can have sugar again, we´ve been having it almost daily again (when we are out).
I was always saying no to sweet requests at the grocery store. ¨I know better for her health¨.
But I think I was encouraging her into more craving for sweets by making it scarce.
Some posts on Always Leanring Yahoo Group made me think more about this.This article: Moving Toward Less Control, Concerning Food has some exerpts from the forum. Like this comment:
¨I just can’t feel ok about that….it makes me so angry….I am not willing to subject my children…
Sep 12, 16
My dear mom´s birthday was on February 14th. She died 8 years ago (only 11 days after her 59th birthday).
I always felt lucky for having Sonia as my mother. When I was little, I once wrote her a card that said ¨You are my favorite mom¨. She and my sister always made fun of that card, but I still think it makes perfect sense. I wouldn’t have traded her for any other mom.
As a quick glance about her, I can say that she was a funny person, an optimistic, a problem solver, an animal and plants lover (not a beach lover like me, she preferred the country) and an endless curious. She read more books than I can imagine and every time she wanted to know about something, she would get a book on the subject. That´s where I got this certainty that we can learn anything on our own. She was an unstoppable learner.
Sep 02, 16
For the last 4 weeks and till May, I´m sharing a house with another single mom, her kid is one of my 4 year old´s best friends from kindergarten.
The help you get living with someone else is pretty obvious. And there are also the challenges of putting two single children of single moms living together with now two parents.
Sure enough, both mamas can go out at night more often, which we’ve been doing at least once a week each. The girls are always busy playing together and we can share a lot of living costs. Like the 300 dollars rent: nice.
The house is by a river. The girls are free to come and go to the river at any time, usually naked, since the river is very shallow and not dangerous at all. One might say it´s still dangerous because it´s in the jungle and so all sorts of poisonous animals live nearby, like the eye lash pitviper that was found at their school one of these days, but screw that, the girls have a blast and we can watch and hear them from the house.
Change, if you want the other to do it, do it yourself first
Aug 27, 16
I had two couple of friends coming to visit from Chile.
They were eager to meet my 5-year old, and I could take the chance to meet them first and tell them a little about how to deal with her.
¨She doesn´t like to be called a princess, beautiful, or ugly. She doesn’t like any attention from strangers. She won´t say hello or goodbye, I´m sorry if she looks uneducated at first, she is just really sensible to meeting new people. Don´t even think about touching her¨.
They understood, as they are parents of grown children and had their own stories on the matter.
Then, we picked Luísa up and went for a pizza. As expected, Luísa didn’t talk to them or look at them much. When she asked for the salt and one of them passed it, she said in a low voice: ¨Mom, I asked YOU for the salt¨. Usually, she won´t take anything from a stranger´s hand.
My friend apologized: ¨I´m sorry, I won´t bother you anymore.¨
It was a pleasant night, and soon Luísa was sleeping in my lap.
Jul 28, 16
On my personal quest for practicing gentle guidance with my daughter, I learned about the RIE (Resources for Infant Educarers) , through Janet Lansbury. It´s basically about respecting and trusting babies as whole human beings and it gives us lots of ways to do so.
I´m happy to interview Janet, a RIE instructor for parents who shares all her experience in her blog. Janet´s posts, links and community are a great source for parents to build and maintain a good connection and use positive discipline with our children.
So, let´s get to it!
Janet, can you describe a bit of RIE, and what your work with RIE is about?
Janet: RIE is a non-profit organization founded by infant specialist Magda Gerber in 1978 that is dedicated to infants, toddlers and their caregivers. We provide education and support for parents and child care professionals.